Hargeisa,Aug 01 (SomalilandPress)-Marriage is one of the precious assets that Allah has bestowed on human. It is a joint venture between two people (man & woman) who live as one; it is not two distinct corporations doing business under the same roof. The importance of marriage is clear to everyone, its building blocks are further and more important than just fulfilling biological needs but it is beyond that. Its horizons lie in peaceful and stable existence of relations and behaviors.
Therefore we want the home to be a haven of love where husband, wife and children live with a sense of security and a feeling of acceptance. With all the school shootings and societal violence outside the home, everyone needs a place in life where they are surrounded by peace and love, hence the home is the best place of emotional safety.
Every one who marries wants that kind of home, but a happy home doesn’t just happen. It is the result of two things:
1. Proper adjustment to each other
2. Incorporating into daily life the principles of marriage outlined by Allah in the Holy Qoran.
Most couples are so head over heels in love that they see only the good parts of their fiancé or fiancée. It doesn’t take much time after the honeymoon -a few days, a few weeks- before the novelty of being married wears off and each partner’s flaws become known. Every human being comes fully equipped with bucketful of weaknesses, though this news may come as a shock to naïve newly weds.
That is why it is so important for married couples to be gentle, patient; kind and self-controlled while adjusting to this new calculus. They must show love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Personality conflicts may occur which are weaknesses in one partner that irritate the weakness in the other. Differences between partners also need not to be fatal! No disagreement is a threat to a marriage; it is what a couple does about those disagreements that determine the success or failure of a marriage.
Children are the beauty of the home, therefore both parents must show them kindness and support. It is their responsibility as a couple to raise the child with good manners and behavior. Young couples with children will tell you that children are such a source of enrichment and blessing to them that they couldn’t imagine life without those little ones.
The wife’s attitude toward possession is very important; she can unconsciously drive her husband to overextend himself in an effort to please her. She should avoid comparisons between the home her friend lives or the home her father could provide and the little apartment and frugal conditions under which she starts her marriage. The wife’s patience and joyous acceptance of her husband’s financial capabilities are among the ways she can invest in a long-lasting and happy marriage.
On the other hand your relationship to your spouse’s family is important. You can afford to be considerate and thoughtful of your partner’s parents. After all, they invested many years and thousands of dollars in raising your mate, which means they deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Avoid speaking negatively to your partner’s parents, if you feel they are interfering too much in your marriage, let your spouse do the talking, although you should accompany him or her if clarification is needed.
A loving wife should not put her husband into the difficult position of having to choose his loyalties- his wife or his mother. With thoughtfulness and love, the wife can help her husband maintain a relaxed feeling toward his parents and particularly his mother.
Last but not the least, Being willing to do for your partner what you would hope your mate would willingly do for you is the foundation of a great marriage. Young boys and girls who are willing to marry now or the near future must think before they act. Marriage is more than they think; it is something that needs patience and responsibility. The success of every society is presented by the bond between their blocks which is the marriage. A successful marriage leads to successful households which in turn lead to successful community and government.
Ahmed M.Elmi (Shawqi)